Press A To Continue
by madiisnotahipster
Summary: Dan and I are finally figuring everything out. The little pieces of the game are coming together quite nicely. This is my story, my game, my battle. And I am here to tell it. I have battled the mini boss, and now it is time for the real monster. But honestly, who knew how harsh the virtual world could be? "Sequel" to Press Start to Begin, but you don't have to have read it. Dan/OC
1. Level 1

**Before I turn this over to the main characters, I'm going to give you all a bit of a prologue, if you will. Here's what's up:**

**If you haven't been tuning in for Press Start to Begin, I highly suggest you do, WAY more info on how they met, became friends, inside jokes, and other stupid shit is in that one. This is just a continuation of Press Start. **

**However, if you decide that you are too cool to go and read another fan fiction, then whatever. You can read this one without reading the first one, and I'm going to try to keep it in a neutral zone, for those of you that don't want to read 40 chapters of greatness. **

* * *

Atari

Matt Smith really does have amazing acting skills. The way that his eyes tell every story that he's ever been through says so much. I couldn't get over it. David Tennant is still my favourite doctor, I do have to say. I enjoyed his 3-D glasses, and his companionship with Rose. Also, he was Ten and it's even in his last name. He was meant to be the Doctor.

I was sat on my sofa, drinking tea, decked out in all of my Doctor Who nerd stuff, thoroughly enjoying my down time. "Don't cry, Doctor! Let me hold you!" I yelled at the television screen and tried not to cry. Sure, I know it was last week's episode, but I needed to get prepared for the next one. It's a ritual. My cat, Soup, jumped up onto the couch, trying to get me to pet her fat head. Sure, she was just an extremely fluffy, Persian cat, but I love her. However my flatmate, Micah, could certainly live without her. For someone that works at a pet shop, she sure hates this cat.

My phone started buzzing on the table, so I picked it up. Dan was calling.

"Hey," I answered, a smile on my face.

"Hey, what's up?" His voice is so cute over the phone. I could picture him walking around his flat or sitting (un)comfortably on his own couch. Then again, whatever he was doing, I knew that it was just a way to procrastinate.

"Watching last week's episode of Doctor Who," I responded, turning down the volume so I could listen to him better.

"Haven't you already seen that?"

"Well yeah, but I had to prepare for the new one, duh."

"Fine, whatever you say," I could hear his stupid, sexy smirk on the other end.

"So did you have a reason to call or..." I said as I began fiddling with my Tardis mug.

"What? A guy can't call his girlfriend every once in a while?"

"Sure he can, but not when she's watching a very important show and lives on the floor beneath you." Dan is so weird sometimes.

"That sounded kind of kinky." I curled my legs up by me and wiggled around, blush forming on my cheeks.

I giggled. "Shut up, you know what I mean."

He chuckled. "Yeah, at least I usually do. So, I did have an actual point in calling you."

"Yeah? And what was that?" Soup pawed at my sweat pants and I complied, petting her down her spine.

"PJ and I were wondering if you would be a part of a video of ours. It's going to be pretty complicated." I didn't know whether that was sarcastic or not.

"Yeah, sure. But you have to tell me what it is, or deal's off." I didn't want a repeat of the last time that worked out. I ended up getting woken up too early, spending the day being followed around by a camera for who knows how long, and then getting in a small fight with Dan.

"You've seen the video, Men vs. Women, right?" I said yeah. "Well, I want to do a sort of follow up video on that. I had Men vs. Women, Understanding the Female Mind, that was the one with you in it, and now I want one about video games."

"Video games?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, you're a gamer, PJ's a gamer, I'm a gamer, Phil and Micah are gamers, so I felt like we needed to acknowledge the descrimination against women in video games. A lot of people still think they are a guy thing, so we are going to have a contest of sort, to, you know, figure out if that's right or not. PJ doesn't think it is, but he is going to participate anyways."

"That sounds like a good idea, yeah, I can dig on that."

"And for PJ's channel we are going to have a sort of battle between you and him, only including special effects, comic book style things, and costumes. Does that sound cool? I'm going to book us a time at Google studios sometime."

"Costumes?" I asked. I mean, the closest thing to costumes that I had were a Little Mermaid and Marceline cosplay outfits that Micah and I used for both Halloween and Comic Con in the US.

"Yeah, do you remember his girlfriend, Amelia? Well she's really good with costumes, and said that she could help us. She's either making you Zelda or someone from Final Fantasy. We kind of put the characters into her hands."

"Yeah, okay, I can do that. Not too much skin, okay?"

He chuckled, "I don't think I can do anything about that."

I sighed and took a glance at the screen, seeing the leaf dissolve in Clara's hands. "So do you like the new companion?"

"In Doctor Who?"

"Yeah," I said, snuggling farther into my Tardis blanket.

"Eh, she's alright. I haven't seen much of her, so I'm not sure yet. I still like Amy," he said. Of course he did. Maybe he had a thing for accents...

"I feel the same way, I mean I still love Ro-" a bunch of voices on the other end stopped my conversation.

"Sorry, one second, Micah wants to talk to you," he said, his voice fading away into Micah.

"No, I just want you to- Hey, Atari, I just wanted to let you know that I'm having dinner here, if you want to come over."

"Yeah, just let me watch this next episode of Doctor Who. Isn't it a little late for dinner?" The clock read 9 pm.

"Well, maybe, but whatever. Do you think you could bring something? I think we have some bread, you could just pop it in the oven and we could eat it with whatever it is that we are having. You don't have to do much, or dress up or whatever. It's going to be something stupid that Phil and I are going to take like an hour to make. Do you care what it is? "

"I suggest beef, pork, some nice juicy steak, maybe pepperoni, some chicken would be good," sarcasm spilled out of my mouth.

"Shut up shut up shut up! Ewwww noooooo." I laughed at her bit of misfortune at my ideas. That pussy of a vegetarian. My gaze met my nails, seeing the newly painted dark blue beginning to chip away. This stuff never lasts. "So can you do that?"

"Yeah, sure. What else am I going to do today?"

"Nothing," she deadpanned. I rolled my eyes. There was a click of the phone and a dead line, leaving me alone again, only the slight sounds of the adverts in the background. Soup stayed on my lap, letting me run my fingers over her soft fur.

There are a million things I should be doing. I should be typing the report up for the new video game I was assigned. I should be _playing_ the video game I was assigned. I just didn't want to slay anyone today. I would so much rather cuddle up in a blanket, feeling the warmth surround me like it did when I was a child, back in my parent's house. I missed that. But, a job is a job, and I'm happy that I'm getting paid for playing video games.

I let Soup off of my lap to jump from furniture piece to furniture piece. I replaced her presence with a Dalek pillow and my mug of tea. I know I'm not exactly English, but I certainly felt it at that moment. Even my American accent was beginning to fade. I felt a little homesick, to tell the truth. I missed my accent.

But despite the little things that I missed, I'm okay with giving them up for the experiences that I've had here; the friends I've made, the job I have, and the man that I get to call my boyfriend. All of the little pieces were beginning to fit together. After three agonizing months of torture, I was happy. And I don't mean happy as in a smiley face or exclamation points, I mean content happy.

And I'm sure that I didn't realize it then, when everything was working out.

I mean, I had reason to be happy and content, excited, really. The next moth was one of the best ones in a really long time, that is, before things went astray, and I got a bit lost on my trail. Now I don't have the help of a sidekick. It's me. And Dan. And Micah. And Phil.

Who knew the virtual world could be so harsh?

Not me.

But, for now, I'll show you where this part of the game begins.

Just press A to continue...


	2. Level 2

I had forgotten how good the sun felt on my skin. It's been raining for so long, I didn't recall this warmth or not having to wear sleeves and long pants. It felt so good to have a muscle tee and shorts on. I mean, I still had my Doc Martins on, but that was due to the damp ground. I had been through four meetings that day, all with representatives from Microsoft, Nintendo, 343 industries, and EA Games. I had to look profesional, yet young, and sort of like a gamer that doesn't leave her house. This all came from the mouth of my manager who phoned that morning.

I found it all rather tedious work, waking up at 8 to prepare my face and body for associating with assistants of big-name companies. It was all fine and dandy, but I didn't even have a big position. I was just an analyzer of games at this point, continuing the training because I was good at what I was doing. To be honest, I didn't even know why I was still just playing the games. I had been employed there for about 7 months, and knew that everyone like me. I was hoping to get promoted pretty soon. I wanted to be able to animate things, even just create backgrounds.

The location of the industry that I work for is perfect. It's right around the shops that sell the games, coffee houses, comic book stores, and record dealers. Paramore's new album was sinking into my ears from my headphones, the two little buds blaring "Part II." The underground wouldn't be arriving for another forty minutes, so might as well get some coffee and something to eat, seeing as I hadn't had anything to eat for seemingly forever.

The morning had been so rushed. I got up to Micah shaking my bed, telling me to turn off the crap I played for my alarm. I drank a cup of coffee as I applied a minimal amount of makeup and changed into my Halo 4 muscle tee and some distressed shorts with a high waistline and my boots. I put all of my shit in my Velvet Underground tote and left the apartment with my messy brown hair in disarray. It had been a while since I wanted to look nice, so I really didn't try too hard. When you are accustomed to wearing leggings and giant sweatshirts, your standards slack a bit.

I've never been a big fan of girly clothing. I have a few dresses that I hold dearly to my heart, but I don't shop for them myself, I have friends and family that shop for me. Even when I was a little girl, I'd play with the boys instead of the girls. I'd eat worms instead of have tea parties. Christ, I still have more guy friends than girl friends. They are easier to converse with and they know that I do not need to be saved.

However, I don't look the part. So when I walk around town, people seem to be a bit shocked that I go into game stores instead of beauty parlours. I still care what people think, but I'm used to the stares that I get when I defeat some guy in any game, even if it's Mario Kart.

I walked into a coffee shop in a tall building, connected to a coffee shop, and a comic book store. It was called Bean There, the comic book store was called Done That.

The jingle bell rang as I entered, cutting through the noise in my headphones. Since it was after lunch time, about 3 in the afternoon, there were only a few people in the shop. A girl was on her laptop, squinting at the screen and typing furiously, pushing back her red hair. Two guys were huddled over graphic novels, discussing plot points and which character was better. You see, this place was a safe haven for both nerds and indie people, sharing the line right in the middle. Good music blared through the speakers every day, so I took out my ear buds and tossed them in my tote.

The walls were a sea-foam-green colour with drawings from local artists. They changed so freqently, that every time I came in, I was distracted. "Hey," the guy behind the counter said. He had plugs larger than his eyes and pale turquoise hair, spiked on just the top. He looked like he stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalog. "What will it be today, Atari?"

Yeah, he knew my name. He went to uni with me. We dated for a month. He kissed well. Then I met Ben and we went our separate ways. "How about just a chai with three shots of espresso and a tomato and mozzarella panini, please, Orion." His pretty green eyes and thin lips broke up with me. He wanted to be friends. And I totally get that. All we ever did was cuddle and play video games.

"Sounds good. So how are you today?"

"Pretty good, just got done with a few meetings."

"Sounds fun."

I laughed lightly, "Yeah, I guess. Who's playing today?"

"Capitol Cities."

"Cool, I haven't listened to much of them."

"Too mainstream for you?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely. I'm surprised that you're listening to them, you hipster."

He laughed at me and turned his attention towards the food he was making. I took a seat at a table next to the window, close enough to the guys talking about some anime that I could hear their conversation. I pulled my laptop out of my bag and set it on the table, quickly opening up the tumblr tab.

"You know, I really hate when girls wear gaming shirts when they have obviously never played them," one of the males said. I rolled my eyes and tried to focus my attention on other things, not really up for public confrontation. I was hoping he would just knock it off.

"Yeah, I know. They probably just wear the shirts to impress people. Someone probably showed them how to play. Just because you've watched a few toturials on YouTube doesn't mean you get to wear the shirt." And I could feel the sass building up in my stomach.

"Excuse me?" I asked, turning around to face them. They avoided my eyes.

"Uh.. uh.. it's just that you shouldn't wear shirts with video games on them if you don't play it. It's rude to the game and makes you look stupid." Ugh. He wasn't even cute.

"Yeah, I bet you didn't even play it all the way through. I bet someone just told you how."

I raised my eyebrows and widened my eyes. I could hear Orion stop working, the knife he was using stopped cutting whatever vegetable it was. He knew perfectly well that I could beat their asses at whatever game they chose. I decided to approach this sarcastically, "Oh, yeah, you know. I'm so bad at video games. It's not like I fucking animated the ending. Want to test me on Halo 4? I was on the fucking board of designers. You need to get it in your shitty little heads that a girl can play video games just as well and even better than you. Don't believe that I worked on it? Here, look at this. My name in the credits, you dick heads. Next time you go and make assumptions, just know that you shouldn't point fingers because they will be pointed right back. I could beat your scrawny and not-so-scrawny asses into the ground at whatever you want. See that big building over there? Know what it's for? Video games. I work there. Just got out of meetings about me being on the board for a new Nintendo game. Suck on that, mother fuckers."

I heard clapping from the other side of the room and the ginger girl was sitting there nodding and bringing her hands together. "You tell them, hun. I hate people like that. Good job. Respect." I smiled and waved at her, thanking the woman.

God I hate when people make such stupid assumptions. The losers looked at me with wide eyes as I opened up the files on my computer that showed me next to the Halo designers, the 343 Industry leaders, and on another computer, using editing software to create the death scene of Cortana.

"Sorry," one of them said, blushing. The other was was taken back, his mouth open slightly. They were leaning away from me, worried that I was going to hit them or something.

"Yeah, you better be, bitch." I turned back, flipping my hair over my shoulder, feeling the sauciness radiating off of me.

Not thirty seconds later, I heard one of them whisper, "I didn't think pretty girls could play video games." I smirked and carried on with my business.

* * *

"What did you do today?" I asked Micah, after I had gotten done telling her about the ignorant twats at Bean There. I had made a spinach pie once I got home, embracing my procrastination on the game I was assigned earlier today. The dish was called Spanakopita, and was one of my favourite vegetarian recipes that I had to put up with when living with this girl.

"I worked with Angel at the pet shop like every day. But she was talking to me about her girlfriend and it sounds like a really sticky relationship. Like, she's pressuring Angel to join all of these extra activities and jobs with her. She won't leave Angel alone. And Angel doesn't want to do any of it! She wants to be able to go home and paint or read alone instead of be packed with other things. She wants to break up with her."

"Sounds like she needs to end it. If she doesn't like the relationship she's in, then she should just cut it off. She deserves a great girl."

"Yeah I totally agree! Like, okay, so she's really into the nature stuff and animals and love and all that hippy dippy stuff, but she can't even volunteer for what she wants with out her girlfriend shoving this other activity down her throat!"

"Really?" I stuck the pie in the oven, setting the timer for an hour. Micah stopped leaning against the counter, getting more animated about the subject.

"And I am so happy that Phil doesn't do that to me, you know? He lets me hang out with whoever I want and knows that my friends are close to my heart. He even offers to go places with him and his friends! I think that's sweet, because I know that I don't have to." We walked out of the kitchen and into the lounge, sitting down on our respective parts of the couch.

"How are you and Phil?"

"So great! We were watching Full Metal Alchemist in his lounge the other day and Dan was on the computer, just sitting there with his headset on, playing Gold Wars or whatever it is,"

"Guild Wars 2."

"Yeah, that, and we were sitting on the couch. Watching Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. And there was this little baby panda. It was really cute. Dan was all like "Stupid panda." But Phil was like "OMFG so cute help." And turns out Edward Elric is an awesome frickin dude and reallllly good looking. He yelled at Al for having this cute little panda. It was adorable. He called a cat but I damn well knew it was a panda. The end."

"Great story, man," I deadpanned. She giggled and hit my arm.

"It's kinda weird that I'm into Phil so much. I go for blondes. Blonde boys. Yum." I laughed at her.

"I'm more into dark hair. Mmmm dark, soft hair and a good personality is all I need."

"And you've got Daaaaaannn," she sang. Soup leaped delicately onto the sofa next to me. And instead of going to my hand, she went to Micah's. "I hate this cat."

And then she started petting it. I chuckled at her. "Remember when we were friends with Noah, Max, Mich, Austin, and Nate? There was that one time that we went to Max's house and up in his room lived his cat. Every single one of those guys said that the cat was a whore and a bitch and a dick and that they hated it, yet whenever it came near one of them, they'd pet it anyways."

"Yeah! I remember that. Good times. They were silly."

"Remember when you hated Soup?"

"Yeah. Well, I still kinda do. She's stupid."

"But we are too, right?"

"Yes. And we will be stupid."

"Forever."

"Together!" We shared a mutual giggle and the timer on the over beeped, making me realize the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. "Yay! Food time!"

I've been friends with Micah for a really long time. I think that we have been pretty close since we were young, but actually started hanging out frequently and spending triple-nighters together in the freshman year. She was the only girl that I would really play with when I was little. In freshman year I started dating Josh, Micah had long hair, I started playing lacrosse, and my anxiety started working it's way into my head.

And we've been together ever since, along with all of our mutual acquaintances.

"So wait, was it a panda or a cat?"

"Well, Al said that it was a cat. But I knew it was a panda."

"Of course you did."

I really appreciated the way that our apartment was laid out. It was pretty much identical to Dan and Phi's, only we didn't use all of the rooms. Where they had an office, we had a spare room. And our glass door into the kitchen was covered.

Micah is an artist. She's one of those creative people that if I didn't love her, I'd have to hate her. She has such talent. Her voice is beautiful where mine is lacking, she creates such unique ideas that pintrest would be jealous of, and is an amazing person. I swear, that girl is good to any and everything. That is, unless someone does something bad to her. She can be quite a sassafras.

Her artwork was hung up all over the walls, bringing a bit of brightness to the space. The floor in her room is mostly covered in a canvas tarp, protecting the carpet from the paint that gets everywhere. I don't know how she does it, making her emotions into masterpieces. She can channel all of her sadness onto a piece of paper, release all of her anger onto a slab of clay, and paint out her love on a big white board.

But when you ask her why she works at a pet store instead of as an artist, she will tell you that no one ever makes it as an artist. She enjoyed making art, and didn't want it to be clouded by need for profit every week. Micah has such a fond love of animals, and so, instead of being a starving artist, she is a well-fed artist who works at a pet store in London. She still sells some of her work, but not the ones that she has an attachment to.

"Atari, how many times have I told you to put your shit away?"

"What?" I carried the food while she carried the plates. We had beautiful plastic wear with different cartoons on it from when we were young. Yeah, we use fine China.

"You totally left the X-Box controllers all messy out here on the floor! What am I going to do with you, girly?" She had a smile on her face, not even going to move the said items. We sat down at the counter in the lounge, just two stools at a tall table.

The thing with all of our stuff, is that Micah had this... quality. There are nights where she can't sleep very well, too much on her mind. So she collages so many things. I woke up one night in October to find the glass door totally coated with magazine clippings, band pictures, and Polaroids of us. I didn't understand how she could make it so flowing, working well. Another night, she took off the door of the extra room and replaced it with shower curtains. She even painted the top of the counter.

That same counter top was being covered by food, and I was proud of it. i usually never even make anything more complex than simple sauteed vegetables with meat once in a while. I know how to cook, and cook well, but I never had the will. I too often spend my time staring at a television screen. In ways, my lounge is my real room. My bedroom is just a place for me to sleep and keep my clothing. All my boxes in my room contained the random crap that I couldn't bear to part with.

"We got a new animal at the shop today."

"Really? What kind?"

"Turtle. A teenage boy brought him in. He was cute. His shorts were green and white with stripes. They were horizontal. I like horizontal stripes."

"Was he cute?"

"He was young. Like fifteen."

"So no?"

"NO! I wouldn't do that! I have Phil, anyways."

"Yeah, I know that you are."

"He's really cute. We talk about everything." I smiled at her, seeing the way that she hid her face, a grin on her lips and blush on her cheeks.

And we went back to eating, listening to Arcade Fire on my record player, eating good food with silverware with stupid saying on the inside. I do so love being stupid. The other day, I bought animal butt magnets for the fridge. Yes, animal butts with tails and hind legs. I'm pretty happy.

I like being stupid. I know that I'm a 22 year-old woman with a job and my own place, but being stupid still made me happy. And I had Dan to be stupid with me. We decided to snapchat all the time. His ranted to me over the phone for a good twenty minutes about how he's had the same exact username for every single social media network, and this is the first time he has encountered this problem.

So I just advised him to use "danisntonfire" just leaving out the "o." He reluctantly used it, snapchatting me with a face of the grumpy cat. He told me it wasn't the same. But what I don't get is how one man can look amazing no matter what. Even his derpy faces look amazing on him. I am lucky to have him.


	3. Level 3

Another picture message from Dan got me out of my upset gaming phase. He looked so cute over in America. I mean, he looks cute in GB too. I responded with a face that wasn't as perfect as he deserved next to Soup. He was way more amazing than I will ever be. I'm not extremely attractive, I don't have a nice ass, my chest isn't a DD, I didn't have a thigh gap, and my waist isn't as small as it could be. Dan should have someone like that, and I'm sure that I could find him one of his fans that fits that exact description.

I just want to be one of the girls in the video games, one like Bioshock Infinite. That would be so cool, to do all of this amazing shit. I could watch the world crumble beneath me, but save it all with a sword or a gun. I could have the world in the palm of my hand, just making sure that everyone was safe. And you don't see them freaking out about guys very often. Most of the time they are focusing on smaller things like saving the entire human race. I could handle that way more than I can handle this. They are as close to perfect as anyone could ever be.

I know that no one is perfect, but it seems to me like I'm incredibly far from it, more so than any of my fellow human beings. Almost every female has been told at some point, whether it was true or not, that they were perfect. I've never had anyone tell me that. Trust me, I would remember if I did. I wasn't looking for a showering of compliments, I was just looking for someone, somewhere, to be genuine and inform me of their positive opinion of me. I have tried so hard to be the perfect girl. I've dieted, changed my clothes, became a hard-core gamer, made a tumblr, cut my hair, continued my sarcastic ways, watched good television shows, got along with guys, and even started wearing makeup. When will I be good enough?!

"You think too much," someone said from the doorway. Holy fuck, oh god, help. Okay, it's just Micah, making me jump. I set my hand over my heart and looked up at her with wide eyes. She had a smile on her face, showing her white teeth. She was so pretty. Phil was so lucky.

"I do not! You scared me! God. Don't do that!" I exclaimed. She giggled and bounded into the room, jumping onto the seat next to me.

"So what were you playing?"

"Bioshock Infinite."

"Never heard of it."

"Course not. God I hate this so much." I grabbed my Ariel pillow and screamed into it. I felt a hand run up and down my back, rubbing soothing circles into my shirt.

"Come on, Atari. I'm sure the game isn't that bad." She leaned her entire body onto mine, giving me a reassuring amount of weight on top of mine. I don't know why she does this, it doesn't make me feel better. It just hurts.

"It's not the game, Micah. I feel so insignificant."

"What do you mean?"

"I am so ugly and fat and it's all just coming to me in this rush of thoughts. I don't get it. I was playing some really great, good quality video games and then this happened."

"No. Okay, you do not get to go thinking stupid lies about yourself."

"What if it's not a lie?" She tried to say something, but I stopped her from interrupting "What if I really am? I keep comparing myself to so many people that I've begun to compare myself with, well, myself. I don't think it's a lie."

"It is! Do you know how much I wish I looked like you? I hate not having a figure. Being so skinny isn't good, I have no meat on my bones. I have this weird gap between my legs and my arms are twigs. I can't lift for shit, and I wish I had curves like yours. And I mean, at least you have a chest!"

"Not a very good one."

"Yeah, like you haven't seen the way guys have eyed you when we go out. They barely ever spare me a glance. They barely spare your _eyes_ a glance. I've noticed, Atari. It's been like that even in high school!"

"You got Phil to like you in the blink of an eye, hun. I doubt that you don't get those looks. I just want to be perfect."

"You are."

"No I'm not!" I let out another scream into the pillow. She stopped rubbing my back. Her voice got suddenly serious.

"You are, Atari. Believe me, you are. You're my best friend, and the most flawless person that I've ever met. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Probably not have to wake up at 4 in the morning to dying monsters." She laughed and laid her head on my back. "I love you, Micah."

"I love you too, Atari. Now come on, let's make the most of the few days we have left without men."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well we could go shopping, make a trip to China Town," she suggested. I agreed and she pulled me along, urging me to get out of my pajamas that I hadn't changed out of, and into something presentable.

She has saved me from so many situations through out my life, risking her back end to get me out of trouble, as I had done for her. I was there for her when her parents got divorced, when her mom went AWOL for two years, when her boyfriend broke up with her, and whenever she just needed someone to be there. We would drive home in my car, stopping for ice cream. It was always chocolate with rainbow sprinkles.

So we walked downtown London, searching everywhere for the same ice cream, settling with some cutesy little parlour. But we continued, taking the underground wherever we wanted to go. And it was nice. I missed spending time with my best friend.

* * *

Dan got back pretty late on a Friday night, or rather, early on a Saturday. And who was there waiting for him at the airport? Me. I had my bag in my hand, and I was staring right at the terminal. I think that's what they call it, it's where you get off and enter the public eye. There were so many strangers around me, making me uncomfortable with their pushing and shoving. Multiple people have come up to me and asked where things are, if I've seen certain people, or to compliment me on an item of clothing.

There are those days where I hate people. So in response to pretty much everything, I just grunted. I don't know what it is about the tall buildings and amount of dreary rain, but this whole London experience has made me a bit less willing to be kind. There are just so many stupid people that roam the Earth. All I wanted to find was a tall man with dark brown hair. Is that really so hard?

Sometimes I wish I was tall, or wearing heels or something. I hate being this short.

Jesus Christ, I complain too much.

Oh shit, where did I misplace my roommate? Sigh. Now I'm going to have to be one of those annoying people that ask persistent questions to innocent passerby's. "ATARI!" I heard over the rush of people, seeing a scrawny arm stick out from the crowd. I pushed through people to get to her, seeing Phil coming out of the security, calm as ever. Behind him, there was Dan. He looked a bit more tan, a smile on his face. Though, he did have a bit of stubble on his chin and jet-lagged look in his eyes. My grip on my tote bag tightened and my smile grew wider. He stepped out, putting his shoes back on.

So I ran towards him. "DAN!" I threw my arms around his neck, making him stumble a bit before regaining balance. "How was America? Did you like New York?!" I muffled into his jacket. I felt two arms wrap around me, feeling a slight movement in the ground from whatever was in his hand falling to the floor. He chuckled into my ear.

"No. I hated every second of it." I giggled and blushed, looking up at him through my eyelashes. I understood his sarcasm perfectly.

Then the little bag inside of my larger bag registered in my head. "Oh shit! I almost forgot! I got you something!"

"What?" he asked me as I shuffled through my bag. I can always find something when I don't need it, but the second that it's important, I can't find it anywhere. Got it!

"Yes! Here, it's not much, but," I handed him a bag of Maltesers. "I thought you would have missed them for five days." He took them, smiling at me. His arms wrapped around me like the tall buildings in this big city and I felt safe. "Jeez, I forgot how tall you are, beanpole." I smiled at him.

"And I forgot how short you are, beautiful."

"I'm offended! My height is not something to be forgotten. Okay, so how was Fall Out Boy? I kind of hate you for not bringing me with you." I stopped hugging him, putting a bit of distance between the two of us. "Did you totally fangirl?" I could picture him as a teenager, trying to be cute, straight brown hair, band t-shirts, his first kiss. I pushed those thoughts aside and pulled him towards Phil and Micah, leading us to the baggage area.

He went on and on about them, saying how they are so cool, telling about the limited prep time that they had, and the sheer amount of awkward, even though he pretended to be cool. They've seen him on the internet! Fall Out Boy knows my boyfriend! I kept listening, paying attention to all of it. I loved hearing about his experiences, and I was okay with the fact that I wasn't there with him.

I told him about my meeting, the person I ran into, and he congratulated me with a kiss. I missed this.

* * *

"So what do you think, Atari? See, you've got dark brown hair, like Tifa, but I think Lightning is so much more bad ass, like you. And I really appreciate how it shows in her costume. Also, I think that Tifa is a bit too sexist pig for this."

"How about Rikku?" Dan asked. I rolled my eyes at him.

"In your dreams," I responded. Dan mumbled something that I couldn't hear, but I ignored it (along with PJ's chuckle) and went back to listening to Amelia. I trust her judgement.

"So, I think we can rule Tifa out. We have some more mature-looking girls in Final Fantasy, but I can't stand their cosplay. So, we are now down to Zelda and Lightning. Which one do you like?"

"I like Zelda because she's got amazing decorations. But her position on the game is so terrible. I mean, she gets captured. Every. Single. Time. You know? Plus she was such a priss in Spirit Tracks. I like Lightning the most, I think. She's got that bad ass stature and just radiates sass, while looking cute."

"Yeah, cute's the word..." PJ trailed off.

"Shut up," Amelia smiled at him, earning a grin and a crinkled pair of green eyes in return. Such a cute couple.

"Do you think that you can make a Lightning costume?" I asked. My eyes drifted over the two options, noticing the length of the skirt in both. I did like Lightning so much more, though. And my facial structure looks like her.

"Fuck yeah! I've got almost all of the pieces. I have the skirt, the gloves, the upper arm cuffs, a base for the coat, and the maroon colour top underneath. I had already put in the order for the renting of the shoulder piece and the parts for the boots from one of my friends on the other side of London. And I have a backpack thing that I can hook three straps on. How much skin do you care that you show?"

"Arms and legs I'm cool with. Nothing on the torso or that I would regret having on the internet."

"Awww that takes all of the fun out of this," Dan said. I laughed at him. "I mean, I've got a million embarrassing moments on the web, you don't see me stopping. Wow, I have that stuff on the internet..."

"Along with some tasteful nudes from how long ago? Like 5 years?" PJ took a look up from his drawing to smirk at me.

"You do?!" I hadn't heard about this! My blue eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah! Just look up the tag on tumblr!" PJ had that look in his eyes that said he found it as funny as I did.

"NO. You don't get to. Nope, nope, nope. That's not okay for my girlfriend to find on the web."

"She's going to find out how you look sooner or later, you know." I blushed.

"So, anyways, Atari, come with me, I have to measure your arms and legs and crap," Amelia ushered me out.

"We will be here!" Dan said from his position by his desk.

We went out into the hallway, right outside of his office thing. Let me tell you, that was one comfortable sofa-bed. PJ and Amelia were over for a meeting a few days before we were going to go to the Google studios and record this thing. I was really excited. I get to be Lightning! I just hoped my legs were long enough. Amelia was even taller than me, and by a good few inches too! Ugh.

"Wow, Atari. You're really short." She started by my feet, measuring my legs.

"I'm only 5'3"! That's not that short," I tried to defend myself. I don't think it worked.

"5' 3"? You mean about 160 centimeters?" She moved onto my torso, taking the waist, hips, chest, and shoulder length. She nodded to herself.

"Sorry! Used to feet and inches and stuff."

"You really are American." She sounded surprised, taking a break from her furious, fast-paced measuring.

"Well, yeah. Did you think I was faking or something?" She went back to my arms, checking their length.

"No, I though PJ was lying."

"Can't you tell by my voice?"

"Not really, some other English people sound like you." She finished taking her last measurement. "Okay, that's it!" I went to go inside before she grabbed onto my arm. "I am really happy that Dan has found someone like you. He's been single for quite a while and needs a bit of a break from the constant work on the internet. Those people can be vicious, so be careful."

"Don't worry, I can handle it."

* * *

I sat down on Dan's couch, slouching into my own spot. Yes, I did indeed have a spot on their couch. I think that is a little more important than any drawer they could give me.

"Shit, what time is it?"

"Only about 10," Dan said, looking at his phone.

"Fuck. I guess I should go home then."

"You mean upstairs and down the hall? Stay for a little while."

"I should really go back..."

"Pleaseeee?" Dan gave me his wide eyes, looking like a tiny kitten. He batted his stupid adorable eyelashes.

"I hate you."

"Yay! What do you want to do? We have video games, food, nerdy movies, nerdy computer games, my bedroom, I think we have Connect Four somewhere, we could get penguins banned on Club Penguin. What will it be?"

"Well, certainly not your bedroom." He scratched the back of his neck and looked at the floor. "I'm kidding, calm down. I personally don't like Connect Four, I don't even want to bring up Club Penguin. Oh god, the memories. Uh, let's watch a movie."

"What film?"

"Lord of the Rings? I haven't seen that in ages."

"I have the Nerd Box 9000 that we can break out and watch, if you want."

"Sounds good. Where are we watching said film?"

"Probably in here, unless you want to watch it on a laptop."

"Laptop is fine, I'm exhausted and want to lay down. I'll make popcorn?" I offered.

"Sure thing. Come find me when you're done," he winked and sauntered down the hall. He has a nice pair of legs. And a nice ass.

* * *

"You would not believe how obsessed my friend is with these movies."

"Really? Is he in America?"

"She, Dan. Don't be so sexist." I laughed and lightly hit his arm. He pretended that it hurt.

"Well is she?"

"Yeah, she is. She had Orlando Bloom staring at her from her ceiling and Gandalf protecting her door."

"You shall not pass!"

"That was the sign on her door. It was pretty great."

"I'd bet. Do you remember when they came out in the cinemas?" I nodded. It was great, though I was pretty young, 11 I think. "Well, my friends and I went with our mums and dads together in a large group. I tried to read the books, but they were pretty complicated, so I gave up. But anyways, my friend was so scared of Gollum that every time he came up on the screen, he would scream at the top of his lungs and stand up in the isle. So every time I picture this creepy creature, I think of my friend that I haven't talked to since secondary school." I was giggling. I had a few acquaintances that would do the same thing.

So we continued to sit there on his bed, watching The Fellowship of The Ring together. It was balancing on my lap and I was on Dan's, just enjoying his company. It was so nice to be this close to him. I haven't known him for more than 8 months, yet I feel like I'm really close to him. I trust him.

But when Dan was so open around me, I felt safe and protected, like nothing could harm me. It felt good to have someone's muscular arms wrap around my waist and legs under mine. He finds little ways to touch me; tickling, kissing, playing with my hair, fidgeting with my fingers, tracing patterns on my arm. But it didn't matter, I thought it was cute.

"So how's your next video coming along? Any insane fans wanting locks of your hair?"

"Yeah, but right now it's getting really bad. Do you see this mess up here?" He fluffed his dark brown locks. "I got a hair cut not two weeks ago and it's already being fought over. The least they could do is wait until I need a trim." His smirk made me smile. I loved his sarcasm.

"I'm surprised none of them have hacked onto your Twitter and wrote silly things like llamas and placentas all over it."

"What are you talking about?! Llamas and placentas are cool. You just aren't in with the right crowd I mean oh my gawd. Don't be tacky, Atari." His valley girl accent was spot on to a point that I was scared.

"You sound like a twelve-year-old." He laughed, showing me his dimples. "They really liked your apartment tour," I commented.

"Yeah, and now I'm pretty sure that I can't step out of my house without trashy sunglasses and a hat to hide my identity." I giggled. "Hey, this goes for you too. They've seen you in my videos and the ones on your channel. They know what you look like. Remember that girl in town?"

"Uhhhh..."

"The one that fangirled over me and you before I kissed you in the elevator. Or maybe you kissed me. Hmmm..."

"That kind of started a shitstorm."

"Yes, but look at us now." I started thinking of that stupid Chris Brown song. Oh god. A gorgeous pair of dark brown eyes pulled me out of it.

"And I'm quite happy to be here with you." He leaned in closer to me and rotated my position on his lap.

"As am I." His lips met mine and the Fellowship was abandoned.


	4. Level 4

Dan

Atari was too beautiful for her own good. Did she know how amazing I thought she was? Probably not, she is such a harsh critic of herself. I don't know what to tell her in order to convince her that she's so spectacular.

"Atari?" I asked, turning to see her eyes scanning a cook book for something to make for dinner.

"Yeah, Dan?" She kept her eyes on the papers, not even looking up. I didn't say anything, just looked at her with a smile on my face. I'm glad that I'm back from the US. It was fun for five days, but I liked being back home.

She looked up at me. "Yeah, Dan?" she repeated.

"Oh, uh, could we make bagels?"

She pursed her lips, trying not to smile. I saw her eyebrows lift in amusement. "You want bagels? Can't we just get them in the stores?" A giggle escaped her chapped lips.

"Well, yeah. I guess. It's not the same, you know?" She hugged me, laying her head on my chest.

"Yeah, I know. So did you decide? Do you want Grilled Shrimp and Noodle Salad or Primavera with Prosciutto, Asparagus, and Carrots?"

"Well I don't think that we have any shrimp..."

"So primavera it is?"

"Looks like it."

"Is there meat in there?" she asked, looking at the recipe again with her eyebrows squished together. I laughed at her lightly.

"Nope. No meat. And we certainly can't put meat in there. I can't believe you'd even suggest it." Atari lightly smacked my arm. It hurt as much as a butterfly, but I pretended it hurt more, just for her ego.

I was the luckiest guy in the world. She was there, this amazing woman in front of me, and she was mine. "Dan, you okay? You're looking at me all weird. It's silly."

"You're silly," I responded. She chuckled and turned to the fridge to find food items. But before she got out of my reach, I took her hand and twirled her around in a circle.

"Dan?" she asked as we danced around the tiny kitchen.

"Yes?"

"We are dancing."

"Nooooooo, really?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Good question." And her beautiful blue-grey eyes looked into mine and she was so beautiful. It wasn't in the traditional ways that beauty is thought of. Her hair was not gold, her eyes were not the colour of the cold sea, her lips were chapped and thin, her smile was a bit crooked, she did not have a soft laugh, but she was beautiful. She had this way about her, like black coffee, love poems, the water when it washes up with foam across pale feet, and the way that wind flows through hair. She was so beautiful, strong, and I was lucky to have her.

She's a really good girlfriend. I felt bad that I had barely any time with her, what with the radio station, my videos, and all of the other extra stuff that other people want me to do. It's fun and all... but I want things to be more simple.

* * *

Atari

So before I continue to explain what happened and how my game went around, I might want to give you a bit of a back story.

I am American.

Yes, I, Atari Emerson, am an American. I was born and raised in the same little house in Iowa. I went to high school at Dubuque Senior High School. I ate french fries and chips and burgers and all that yummy stuff. I grew up around the Pledge of Allegiance.

I have a mom, a dad, a brother, a dog, and a grandma waiting for me at home. They own a little house in Dubuque. My room is right next to my brother, Felix's.

I was named after the video game system, Atari. My parents were kind of nerdy, so gaming is in my blood. I learned how to play Space Invaders before I could walk. I sucked, but I do have some home videos of me trying to play. My first word was "mommy" then "pac man."

I've been playing with boys all my life, I've preferred them over girls the entire time. I didn't own a million barbie dolls and I wanted to be the blue Power Ranger instead of the pink like all the other girls. I was Gwen Stacy and Oliver would be Spider Man for Halloween. I read Harry Potter instead of Junie B. Jones. It was just a normal thing. But I wore a lot of pink and my mom was good about grass stains and scrapped knees from the playground. I knew how to skateboard with all the other kids instead of using a Razor scooter around the neighborhood. I honestly think that my parents thought I was going to be into girls when I grew up. Nope. Not one bit. There was only one girl that I got along with for more than 10 minutes without pulling her hair or biting. Her name was Micah. I didn't hate her, but we weren't best friends. Yet.

Micah became my closest friend in freshman year of high school. We had been acquaintances since birth before that, but actually started becoming involved in each other's personal lives outside of school after that year. We went to parties together, cried together, ate together, and played video games together. We were little pop punk rock tom boys in the rough, being overall delinquents in the most innocent of ways. She started dying her hair different colors and I started wearing tights under my shorts. God, we listened to so much My Chemical Romance. Oh God. And I dated the sweet boy Josh for a long time.

But that all eventually dissolved into band tshirts and fedoras while Micah grew out her hair, straightening it every day. I dated guys for short amounts of time and got a bad reputation that wasn't true. I don't understand slut shaming. So what if I kissed a few guys? Why is that bad? And then I met Robbie, staying with his rather intimidating ass because he stayed with me for longer than a week. Then he gave me a pretty damn deep scar on my hip... Anyways, moving on. It was great. Senior year was fun, we stayed out late with our best friends and did stupid shit that we may have regretted. It was fun.

I got accepted into University of the Arts in London, and moved from Dubuque, Wisconsin to London, England. My first year there was great, I made friends, got along with the others, didn't bite anyone, and ended up scratch free. Apparently, I was doing my work well and had a "promising future," so I went back the the United States for a year as an intern for Microsoft right next to Seattle.

It was essentially a job where I got a small apartment, lots of experience in pubic transit, and a lot of culture. Halo 4 was what I was working on, being the messenger girl for 343 Industries and X-Box 360. I was allowed to work on bits of the missing pieces of the animation when I wasn't sending email after email. The entire thing was great for my vocabulary. I type like a mother fucking professional. I gained the skill of typing up 4 well-thought-out pages in under 30 minutes. I didn't bite anyone there, either. I think they liked me.

And I moved back to London, resuming my spot in my dorm to finish up my last year. And from then on, Micah and I moved out, getting a really shabby apartment with gross laundry systems in the basement and old crazy men next door. Needless to say, we only stayed for a two month period of time before we moved into where we are. It was such a nice place, and to be honest, I didn't have any plans of moving.

* * *

I don't care if this sounds self-centered or anything like that. I just need to say it.

All I wanted is to be loved. And I knew that I was loved by my friends and family and followers, but I wanted to be in a relationship where I didn't need to be scared of being sexually abused, hit, or yelled at. I wanted to be in a relationship where we could be laying on the couch, watching movies and laughing and smiling and just being ourselves. I wanted to be able to call him crying, scared and no matter what time it is for him to answer, or come over and talk to me while I cry, keep me at peace with myself because, to tell you the truth, it is the hardest thing to be strong when you feel like you have nobody there.

I am tired of feeling heartbroken and scared and pathetic because of what my past has done to me. But I am tired of guys just talking to me because they want a "one night fling "or to be "friends with benefits" because you know what, I am worth more than that. I am worth someone who will see my scar and instead of leaving, stays and helps make sure there are no more. I am worth someone who will love me for me. I just wanted somebody to care. And I finally realize that I am worth something. It took me quite a while to realize it, but I've come to that conclusion.

I may not be as pretty or skinny as the other girls in the world, but I know that I am worth just as much, if not more.

And I think I found someone that thinks of me the same.

* * *

Dan

We were laid on her sofa, my back to the couch and her back to my front, watching Game of Thrones. We were both tired, which shouldn't be a shocker due to the fact that it was 5 in the morning and the horizon began lighting up outside of the window. We hadn't gone to bed yet, obviously, and I could sense Atari falling asleep. I should really take her to her bed. But this was one of those moments that I wanted to savor. And if you had a beautiful girl, laying in front of you, in just an old t-shirt and pants, and you could feel every inch of her, I'm pretty sure you'd feel the same way too.

Just imagine it. Those moments. Those entire nights. You have her all to yourself. She just lies there watching the movie in front of you. Her arms tucked up in front of her. Her hands nestled beneath her head. You watch how her body moves as she breaths. Your eyes roaming all over her skin. Then you touch her, just resting you upon her hip softly. She jumps a little, turns and smiles at you then returns to the film. You feel warm, a blissful feeling as your fingers trip their way over her skin. She purrs and scrunches her shoulders in quiet contentment sensing the movements without watching. Shuffling backward against you, safe, happy, yours.

That's exactly how I had it right then with Atari. It felt right, like I shouldn't move from that spot.

"Dan?"

"Yeah, Atari?"

"What time is it?"

"Around 5."

"I'm tired." She turned around to face me, cuddling up to my chest. I could smell her cherry shampoo. I don't know how girls handle smelling so good all the time. It was too much to bear.

"Then go to sleep."

"I tried."

"I'll tuck you in, then."

"Promise?"

I chuckled. "No, I'm going to push you over as soon as we get to the hallway and make a run for it."

"Shut up," she mumbled into my shirt. I laughed.

"Joking! Joking. I wouldn't do that."

"I know. I want to go to bed."

"Then come on, you've gotta get up."

Atari mumbled, getting up off the couch slowly, practically rolling off. I followed her and slung my arm around her waist, letting her lean into me. We finally got into her room, where she proceeded to collapse on top of it.

"Come on, Atari. Gotta move over. You need the covers."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to get cold. Come on, babe." She did as I told, moving her legs so that I could tuck the blankets around her. I yawned as I did so, but tryed to hide it from my girlfriend.

"I saw that. You're tired."

"Nope. I'm wide awaaaaake," I yawned again. To be honest, I was practically asleep on the couch.

She giggled lazily. "No you're not. Come in." Her hand patted the seat beside her. Should I stay with her or go to my own house with the ability to just be in boxers?

"I should get home."

Her face fell. "Oh. Okay. Goodnight. See you, I guess.." she turned around, her back facing me.

She curled into a ball and the covers fell off her torso, leaving a bit of exposed skin. God, Atari. What am I going to do with you? I fixed the blankets so that they fell gently over her shoulders. I heard a slight sigh as I began to leave.

"You'd make a great dad, Dan," she said before I left. As I walked out her hallway, I kept thinking of her. She was so let down. It's just that I don't want to spoon and then have something embarrassing happen during my sleep.

But that was the only thing keeping me back from spending time with her. I never get to do that, and I won't be able to for a while. We need to work on our video with PJ soon, so I guess I have an excuse. But with all of the editing and other stuff that I have to go through, we will never see each other. I know that neither of us need each other, but it's nice to have someone to spend the days with besides Phil.

So I got to the hallway, and turned around.

"I'm not wearing my skinny jeans to sleep," I said as I entered her room, seeing Atari facing me, a smile on her face.

"Okay," she said, her voice sleepy and kind of sexy. I got more comfortable before turning back towards her, seeing the same smile and a bit of blush on her beautiful features.

"Oh God, the covers fell off again. You're so bad at that, Atari. Let me fix it." I got in, facing her, pulling the blankets over both of us.

"I was hoping that you would come back and fix them," she said as she closed her eyes and sighed contently.

"I'll always come back." And before we knew it, we were sound asleep, breathing in the same air.


	5. Level 5

**OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY GUIS. IT'S BEEN FOREVER AND I HAVE NO EXCUSES EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I'M WORKING ON LES MIZ FOR MY LOCAL THEATER AND IT'S SO FUCKING HARD. I HAVEN'T BEEN HOME FOR THE PAST 4 DAYS. alsdghaslddf I apologize. Anyways, let's get on with it already!**

* * *

I don't like to think of how famous Dan is becoming. I like to pretend that it's just us two, living normally, checking the feed on our dashboards and not coming across any photo-shopped images of him. It's nice to imagine a world that the only pictures I see of him are on his instagram, the fucking adorable selfies that he takes. But I know that I can't do that. It's not my fault that he's cute, funny, and on the internet. There are many teenage girls that dream of someone like him and I am so grateful that he's in my life.

And I can manage. Life isn't determined by whether I have a boyfriend or not. I have a good job, a decent income, a beautiful flat, an amazing best friend, and I'm certainly not starving.

"Hey, Atari?" Micah distracted my train of thought.

"Yeah?" I called from my position on my bed. I was playing Super Scribblenaughts on my DS.

"Do you want to go somewhere today? It's actually nice out for a change. And I need new clothes. Have you seen the amount of holes in my favourite jeans? It sucks." Her voice got louder as she approached my room.

I looked up to see her leaning against the doorway, a smile on her face. "Yeah," I responded.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Micah looked at me skeptically, obviously not believing me.

* * *

"It's just that he's so... popular! He's in commercials, all over the internet, he has a fucking radio show. I am so proud of him, but..."

"You want him all to yourself?" She was holding a muscle tee up to my chest. I thought we were shopping for her. But I guess yellow doesn't look good with the pink in her hair or some shit.

"That sounds horrible, doesn't it?" I asked, my eyebrows scrunching together, causing worry wrinkles in my forehead.

"No, it sounds honest. I mean, I have to compromise my time with both Phil's commitments and my work schedule. That's why I'm around him seemingly all the time. In reality, it's not that much." Her eyebrows scrunched together as she weighed the pros and cons of the article on my body type.

"Yeah, I see what you mean. Hey, do you think that I could owl up on that shelf?" I really just wanted to change the subject already.

"Please, Atari. Just grab this shirt. I don't think you should climb up there." She looked at me incredulously, a smile on her face. My phone started ringing. Oh joy.

"You're not in your flat," Dan said before I could even greet him.

"Yeah, I know."

"Why?"

I laughed. "I'm shopping. Why?"

"Phil and I wanted to know if you guys are still going to the Radio Awards with us tonight."

"Oh fuck."

"What?" Micah asked.

"Radio Awards. We going?"

"What time?"

"What time?" I repeated into the phone.

"Uhhh, three hours, I think. Right, Phil? Yeah, three hours. It's pretty damn fancy. So I want to see some skirts up in here."

I giggled. "Yeah, we can do that."

"Okay, see ya then, babe?" A blush spread across my cheeks and I hid back a smile.

"Sounds good. Meet where?"

"Our flat?" We agreed and hung up, the shirt that was pressed against me was in my hand and Micah had other clothing items pilled up in her arms.

"Bro, what do I wear?" I asked, following her around the semi-indie shop.

"Something with a skirt. If this is red carpet, which I'm assuming it is, then you will need something fancy, but not too long or too sparkly. You can't overpower the man getting the award. You know? Okay try this one." She handed me a red dress with white polka dots.

"Dude this stands out. A lot."

"I wasn't done! And these," Micah said, handing me a bunch of others. They consisted of a black dress with studs on the collar and a deep "V" shape on the back, a simple light pink one, and a overly shiny gold one. They were truly beautiful, but definitely not my style. I grabbed a pair of shorts that I liked and was sort of forced to try them on, not liking any of them. They were too feminine, too over the top in some sort of way. I am not supposed to be a runway model or a Barbie doll, despite Micah's wants.

"You're so picky!" Micah said when I told her that all I liked were the shorts and shirt. And then I saw it. On the tank dress were comic book blocks and quotes. There weren't any weird rhinestone-y things on it or bedazzles or strange contraptions on the backs. It was pretty. And sleek. And a bit sexy.

"I like this one," I told her once I tried it on.

"Of course you do, because you don't like anything that I fin- oh. Oh. Wow... That's amazing on you." She stood there, outside the fitting room, sizing up my body inside of this material.

"Really? It doesn't make my chest look to big? Does it make my hair too dark or my skin too light? Is it too tight?" I stood there, looking down at the dress, getting the worst angle that I could hope for.

"Not at all. You have such amazing curves. I'm so jealous." Micah sighed, taking a sort of envious look at the dress once again. "You look so pretty." And there was that tone again, the one she used when she got to wanting my body. There was that slight taste of salty, bitterness in it, mixed with sorrow.

"So should I get this?"

"Absolutely." The girl snapped out of it and smiled at me, exposing shiny white teeth. She was so pretty. I don't understand why she should be insecure.

* * *

Dan's POV

Fuck. Whoever made that dress designed it exactly for Atari. The material grabbed onto her every curve, highlighting her features. And she was tall in the heels that she was wearing. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, especially when I saw it for the first time. The collar went deep enough to see the slight curves of her chest, and short enough to show her amazing legs. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders in slight beachy waves. I wanted to both keep her in that forever and tear it off with my teeth.

She kept teasing me for reading it. I'd like to "read" that all day.

The awards were short, the tux was decently comfortable, and Atari kept touching my arms and legs, sending me into a frenzy. The award presenters kept talking and talking and talking. I just wanted to find out who won what and then leave through the red carpet back to our taxi back to my apartment and into my bedroom. But I had this stupid award thing that I'm actually really pumped for.

"Dan, listen, they're announcing the winner!" Atari said, holding my hand. Phil was next to me and Micah was on the other side of him. I started paying attention.

We won. And it was amazing, the headphones. Where am I going to put them? Fireplace would be good, right? Yeah. Or by the SuperNote one. I can't believe that my career has gone this far, even though it started with a good haircut and opinions on the internet. Now I have a girlfriend, a good income, and so many new opportunities. Life is good.

* * *

Atari's POV

Life is strange. Dan is going to LA in a few days. LA! He will await birthday parties and other American people, Eurovison, YouTube, and all of these other places and people. Everything is moving so fast. And I don't know how to feel about it. On one hand, I am so happy for Dan, up on the stage, receiving his award with Phil. And on the other, I don't want him to be around so many famous people, soaking up the fame.

I've seen the posts on tumblr, the ships between Dan and Cat. I'm not jealous, just... a bit hurt. I have no reason to be, of course. But these anonymous people on the internet want them together, yet I'm right here. So what does any of this make me?

On our way back, in the taxi, we were so supportive of the boys. Micah and I are extremely proud of their successes. Who wouldn't be? My best friends have gotten so far. And Dan was still mine. His eyes seemed attached to me all the way through everything. I was his rock for once, his safety. I'd be here when all of the web people weren't. And God, does that boy look sexy in a suit.

It was as though it took hours to finally get back home. Micah told me that she and Phil were going to our flat to hang around. I think that Phil likes it more there than his flat. I feel the same about theirs, though my room was nice and comfy.

"Home at last. I always feel like we should have the sound of barking dogs to make it a bit more exciting."

"Yeah, having them greet us like we had people here and other creatures instead of our laptops," I added, walking to the lounge and setting down my bag. Dan came over to me, putting a hand on my waist. I could see his nose if I looked at him straight on in these heels. Being tall is so exhilarating.

"Or kids and a babysitter."

"Playing adult, are we?" I teased with a smile on my face.

"Well wouldn't that be great, coming into a flat with a cute little dog, a baby boy and a toddler girl, all being taken care of by a babysitter?"

"Yeah, when I'm older. I can't handle a kid yet."

"But you would in the future?"

"Of course."

"Good," he nodded.

"Are you suggesting that you would have a kid with me?" I asked, stepping a bit closer to him. God, my feet are killing me.

"Of course. Unless that doesn't interest you." A smirk popped up in the corner of his mouth. I giggled and hit him lightly on the arm. He brought me against him. Dan whispered in my ear, "Have I told you how amazing you look tonight?"

"Yes."

He chuckled. "Well then let me show you."

Dan pushed his lips against mine and pulled me even tighter to his body, making me loop my arms around his neck. Somehow his hands ended up near my ass and his tongue in my mouth. This wasn't like other kisses we had shared, just purely romantic. No. This was lusty and needy, a demanding force on both ends, pushing each other to our breaking points.

He grabbed hold of my ass right before I pulled away. Before he could speak, I led him upstairs to his room, sitting down on the bed. Eyebrows were raised on his precious little face. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes. I mean, I'm going to miss you when you go to the states. What am I expected to do? Sit at home all alone when you're right there?"

"Well.."

"The correct answer is no." I got off the bed and tugged him forward by his tie. "This can't be that comfortable." I loosened it and we fell on the bed, resuming where we left off.

Apparently not one thing between us was comfortable except for skin. I mean, who needs ties or suits or shoes or even dresses and trousers for that matter?

* * *

_**So here's a little fluff for you guys. Next chapter will probably take a while. Here's my reasons: **_

_**1- You know that little play called Les Miz? Yeah, I'm on the tech team for that. Which means, after school, I get 30 minuets before I run down to the theater, set up, move things, move some more things, and then get home at about 12 when I promptly fall asleep. Ain't nobody got time for typing. **_

_**2- My best friend is getting into some shit she shouldn't be in. Can't have that.**_

_**3- My dad's a dick and I haven't talked to him in 3 weeks, so when he changed the wi-fi on me, I had to spend an hour figuring it out again. **_

_**So yeah. Next episode is going to be in the form of a video. So let's all give Madi some advice on what she should put in the video, "Gamer Girls." **_


	6. Level 6

"Honeyyyyy, I'm hooooome," Micah called. "How's Soul Searcher coming?" Micah asked, setting her stuff down beside me.

"Soul Sacrifice, dumbass."

"Ooo, someone's pissy."

"Am not, just hold up." I continued playing, not pausing for any of her shenanigans. "You're home early."

"I'm home at the usual time. Dude how long have you been playing that?"

"Uhh. What time is it?"

"6:12"

"Oh, then about 22 hours."

"You didn't go to sleep?"

"Not yet. I don't need to. Been running on five or so pots of coffee."

"That's why it was warm and fresh when I woke up?"

"Yeah, what did I say about holding on?"

"Sorry, Miss Grouch. I'll be in my room, changing out of these stupid fur-covered clothes."

I returned to the screen, the animated characters. And located the save button. I've had my fair amount of time on the X-Box, so I'll let Micah sit down with her silly Pretty Little Liars.

She came out, tugging an extremely long shirt over her head. "How was work?"

"Angel was great, as always. She's fixed all the stuff with her girlfriend, so she was cheery and kind. But it was cat adoption day, so I held furry little cats that were being upset from the amount of attention they were getting. I wish that they didn't have these days. Even though I'm really happy that someone wanted to adopt them, I want it to be an extremely planned for event, not just any random Saturday, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. But cats are so sweet."

She picked up our cat and cooed at it, "It's a good thing that Atari likes you, because no one else ever will, isn't that right, ugly?"

I scoffed. "She is not ugly! She's beautiful." I took Soup from Micah's arms and sat carefully on the floor.

"You've gotta admit, she is kind of ugly."

"Yeah, but only in her brain. Don't let the mean lady scare you," I cooed back at her.

"Do you mind if I take over the telly?"

"Nah, go ahead. It's about 2 in LA, so I'm going to make some food and then Skype Dan. What do you want for dinner? I've got it covered."

"What do we have?"

"Good question. I'll make salad or something." She agreed and I went to the kitchen, singing the background music from Soul Sacrifice.

* * *

I clicked the little Skype call button as soon as I saw that Dan was on. It took about 2 hours of switching between my phone, facebook, and tumblr for some sort of contact to Dan. I haven't seen his face in about a week. I was watching Tarzan in the background, amused by Jane. She's so pretty. It's at that moment when they start making music with the strange things that humans own. This scene has always made me smile.

"Atari?"

"Dan?" I asked, turning back toward the computer screen. He answered my call. "What's up? How's LA? Meet any new friends? Seen anyone famous?"

He laughed at me, looking up behind his fringe. "No, no one famous yet. LA is amazing! It's warm, sunny, the hotel is nice, and the other people here are amazing. All of this talent located in one city! Plus I had breakfast in bed this morning."

"Sounds so fun! I haven't had breakfast in bed since I was little and my mum would stay home with me when I was sick."

"When I get back, I'll make you breakfast in bed, just like here."

I smiled. "Really?"

"Of course. It will most likely be cereal, though. And coffee, just like you like it."

"I'm only okay with that if you spent the night." I winked at him and he laughed, exposing laugh lines and dimples. My hand brushed back my crimped hair back from my face.

"You are so beautiful. I miss you."

"It's only been a few days!"

"But you're a whole ocean away from me!"

I giggled. "Why do you miss me? England isn't all that special. I'm sure that you're dying for an ounce of sun. It's rainy an-"

"I said you, not England. I miss seeing my alluring, sexy girlfriend."

"Yeah, I miss you too, dork."

"That's all I get? Dork?"

"Fine, let me rephrase that; I miss you too, stupid face."

Dan laughed, throwing his head back. "Much better. What's that in the background? Porn?"

"Yes, Dan, it's definitely porn. That's why Phil Collins is singing and Tarzan is trying to understand Jane."

"Aww, man. You're watching that without me?!"

"Well you're in LA without me. Why can't I watch a little Disney movies now and again?"

"Touche, my friend."

I smiled. Dan fixed his hair, getting them in the "right" order. "Have you gone shopping over there yet?"

"Yes. I found some amazingly stupid things. I'll show you when I get back, babe."

"Babe? Sexy."

"You think so? I was going to say moron, but I didn't think that was the right word."

I stuck my tongue out at him and moved the computer to lay down.

"Atari?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you wearing pants?"

"Nah."

"Didn't think so."

I got situated on my bed, laying down on my stomach, a temporary condition.

"I thought girls couldn't lay on their stomachs."

"We can, but we have to be supported by our arms if we don't want it to hurt."

"Boobs must be inconvenient."

"They are. I don't see how they are attractive. Two lumps of fat located on the chest of a female body doesn't appeal to me. Plus they hurt and I don't like to run with them. It would be nice to have removable boobs."

"So you could choose to wear them?

"Yeah! Then I could just take them off at night and when I want to run, and put them back on before I go out. You know?"

"No, I can honestly say that I don't." I blushed at his comment.

"Damn shame." I yawned and covered my mouth, my eyes getting droopy.

"You should get to sleep."

"Nah, I can make it. Besides," I yawned, "I don't get to talk to you very often when you're traveling. I might as well make the most of what I can get, right?"

"I'm only here for a couple more days, don't worry."

I smiled, knowing that was true. And then the couple days for jet-lag. And then he has all of that YouTube stuff. And then he said that he had tea with his grandparents.

"Don't look so sad, Atari," Dan said.

"I just want you to come home safe and soon, okay? I don't want you to get into any accidents or terrorist planes or any of that nonsense. You're mine and I don't want you to get hurt."

"And you're mine, so you better not find any cute guys over there without me."

"I wouldn't. You are what I need." I smiled at him, flashing my teeth. He ducked his head and smiled, fixing his hair yet again.

"And you're all that I will ever need." Dan kept that small, close-mouthed smile on his lips as he stared at his camera, millions of miles away.

"So can I tell you a joke that I heard today? It was on the back of a Laffy Taffy."

"Sure?"

"Okay, good. Here it goes; Why was the tomato blushing?"

"Because it wa-"

"BECAUSE IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING. Wasn't that cute?! The correct answer is yes. I was laughing so hard yesterday when I saw that." He chuckled in an amused way as I yawned from pure exhaustion.

"That was adorable. Like you."

"That was cheesy."

"You're cheesy."

"How could you say that to me?!"

He laughed at me, throwing his head back a bit. I smiled at him and rearranged my position on my bed.

Someone called from the other room, most likely Phil. Dan looked up at him. "I said, are you ready to leave?" Phil asked. I was right.

Dan looked up at him and nodded, giving a smile, before looking back to the screen and shaking his head no with slightly pursed lips and amused eyes. "Okay, good. Meet me in the lobby in five. Bye Atari! Tell Micah that I say hi!" I waved and wished him farewell.

Dan blew me a sassy kiss and we said goodbye. "Bye, I'll call you tonight, okay?" Dan asked.

"Sounds good. Bye!" He's too cute.

"I-" Dan opened his mouth to say something and then caught himself.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just going to say I... hope you have a good day!"

I crunched my eyebrows together and looked at him oddly. "Okay? Well you too, boo." We waved and closed the laptops, shutting down the chat. I wanted him to say that he loved me.

Because I think I love him. And that thought was enough to keep me awake at night. Because in reality, I didn't stay up because the game was that good, I stayed up because I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if I fell in love with him. And I don't want to have to think about that yet.

* * *

Chop. Chop. Chop. Chop. Chop. Chop. Fuck. Chop. Chop. Oh god, fuck. Fuck. Okay, no big deal, it's just a bit of- oh, okay where are the band-aids. "MICAH?" I yelled out to the rest of the house. No answer. Great. I examined the wound that was now on the top of my thumb a bit closer. Oh god, it's bleeding pretty bad. I can't faint with a knife in my hand. I put the sharp object down, breathed through my mouth. Deep breaths. I hate real blood.

Ouuch. It hurts to wash it, so I'll just dry it and put my Disney princess Band- Aids on it. It's so fucking deep. This is going to suck to play my X-Box. Should I call in, send them a picture?! I can barely handle looking at it myself. I'll suffer through. This is really going to effect my kill streak.

I was sitting on my bathroom counter, frowning at my bandaged thumb, covered in dried blood and badly placed adhesive. This isn't pretty. And Dan is still jet-lagged from LA. What does this call for? Coffee! So for the first time in about a week, I left my flat, only to meet pouring rain. I know that is terrible, but it gets so damn tempting to sit and sleep and cook all by myself sometimes. Micah got the groceries and she's looking a bit tanner from the day that she went shopping, but I'm still a vampire, hiding out from the sight of the burning sun.

My tumblr has been calling my name more than any video game. And I've realized a sudden spike in my followers. New ones are popping up every day and I'm up to 2k. I didn't even know that my blog was that good, even good enough for anons. There haven't been any hate ones yet, thank god.

You should see the stuff that they say about Dan, though.

"He's so gorgeous"

"Why aren't you in my bed?"

"Do you see those eyes?! Unf"

And so much more. For some strange reason, it always puts me in a bad mood. Sure, it's sort of acceptable, when strangers on the internet are drooling over your boyfriend, but I shouldn't be so hurt. It's this clawing in my chest every time I see this sort of thing. I have finally come to the conclusion, that though in reality he is just my speed, on the internet he is way out of my league. I'm on the bench in JV and he's all the way to the finals. I can't compare. Not to mention the beauty of these girls on the internet.

I was still on about all of this internet drama that I seem to be conjuring in my imagination when I walked into the coffee shop, checked my phone and closing my umbrella. I shook out my slightly damp hair and huddled closer in my big, Aztec cardigan. I've been resembling those "hipsters" on the internet more and more recently. It's kind of pissing me off. I'm not a hipster. Sue me for wearing high waisted shorts and big, baggy, white shirts. While I'm wearing my comfy clothes, Micah is getting into her skinny outfits of bandeau's with slouchy tank tops and short shorts.

I'm gaining weight from being indoors so often. I need to start running or something. Has Dan noticed? I hope not.

"Can I get you something, beautiful?" a guy at the counter asked. He was college-aged, looking at me with sea-green eyes and blonde hair covering a tan forehead.

"Just a coffee, please," I responded quietly.

"It's pouring out there, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's pretty bad."

"It gets boring around here when it's like that. No one wants to step foot out of their house."

"Yeah."

"I've been working here alone for the past couple hours. Only four or five customers have stopped in. And they all want these frilly drinks."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I can tell that you're a straight-forward kind of girl. Laying all your cards on the table. Do you want room for cream?"

"No, just sugar."

"See, and you like it sweet, like you."

"Mm-hmm."

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He nodded and handed me my coffee. "Well if you ever need to talk, just call me." He pointed to the napkin and in messy handwriting, his phone number was laid out.

"Do you do this for all of your customers?"

"Only the ones that are worth it."

"That lay their cards on the table?"

He nodded and winked. "Exactly the kind. Have a nice day."

I began to leave before he called out to me. "Hey! I never got your name!"

"It's Atari, like the video game system."

"Huh. Video-game-girl. I like that. I'm Evan. Keep warm!"

I left him to wipe down the counter alone. I didn't want to stay. As I was wandering back to my flat, I could see the new swimsuit fashions in the window, making me wonder if I will ever get to the beach any time soon. Or even a pool. Does London have any around here? I wouldn't know. I didn't go last year, that's for sure. Went to Italy with my friends. But anyways, who am I kidding? Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to pull off those looks.

My eyes traveled back to the napkin, stained with the warm coffee, scrolled on with a ballpoint pen, the digits of a stranger that I had just met. He called me beautiful. Is that enough; a compliment from a stranger, to make a girl feel pretty again?


	7. Level 7

May I take this moment to describe Dan to you?

Let me start from the bottom. Though there might not me much to say about his feet according to anyone else, but to me, there's loads. He has relatively big feet, much bigger than my size 9 ones. And he has such an obsession over shoes. From my teenage years and the years at college where all the people would watch was MTV, I have seen a large collection of shoes. Dan could match them head on. As a female, I have a smaller collection compared to his. Though odd, I find it strangely comforting. And you know what big feet mean... easier to dance with. I've stood on top of his feet and we've waltzed around the flats to old music, letting the dust fly through the morning air, coffee staining our teeth after a long night of nothing.

His legs. Need I say more? He has amazing legs which he always puts in skinny jeans and sweat pants. They make him tall, allow him to tower over me. Dan's stride is much bigger than my tiny steps. I know he doesn't mean to tug me along when we walk, but he's just so much faster. If he was one of those athletic types, he'd run a mile in less than 5 due to the gap between his legs when he puts his feet on the pavement. It's impressive.

His hips. They are perfect. Amazing. While the people on the other side of the screen have obsessed over the "sexy end-screen dance" I have touched them. That's right, bitches, step aside. And what's between his hips? Eh, that's a long story. How do you wink in a monologue?

His torso. I love trailing my fingers down is chest. And even though he isn't a Holister model or anything, he is perfectly sexy for me. He's got a little happy trial leading right down there, leaving me happy and bubbly inside my stomach. I don't know how he does it, but he makes me insane.

His arms. I love the way that they envelope me into them, bringing me closer to all of his body when I need someone to be there for me. I like when he comes up behind me, and I can smell his cologne once he steps into my bubble, feel his biceps bring me closer from my waist and I can finally lean on someone. Dan is sturdy and comfortable, letting me lean on him nicely while he bends his neck to kiss me. I never want him to let me go when he gets like that. Dan's arms make me feel like nothing else matters because I know that there is such a high amount of affection when he touches me gently, restraining from whatever else he wants to do, and just caring for me.

His face and hair. They are the most important parts. His chin. It may not seem very exciting, but it's so adorable. I woke up next to him one day, and he had taken a couple days to not shave, leaving his chin covered in a little bit of stubble, giving him a 5 o'clock shadow. It was sexy. And his lips. I could kiss him all day. When he says that he thinks that he's an alright kisser, he's way better than anyone can ever imagine. He bits his lips too much when he's editing his videos, making big scars on them, and spending a lot of money on Chapstick that eventually goes through the wash. Dan's dimples are so adorable, and they are the reason that I can't stay mad at him. I love to see him smile and hate to see him frown. His nose is so cute. And eskimo kisses with him are adorable. I've put effort into wearing perfume more often, the kind that smells like summer rain and flowers, just to see if he notices one day. I hope he does. His eyes. Dan's dark brown eyes are my favourite part of him, because I can tell what he's thinking about every time I look at them. I like the way that he will be destracted when I come into a room and then immediately pull his attention toward me. And recently, I've been noticing his pupils dilate when I come closer. And I like that a lot more than I probably should. I find that more flattering than a boner any day. And finally, his hair. That man messes with his hair more than any creature on the planet. Which is why I love to mess it up.

But all in all, Dan is Dan. And with every day, my move grows deeper. And I don't even know if I love him or not.

* * *

I was genuinely upset that Dan got to go see all these fucking bands. I wish I could go. I was laying down on his bed, playing Pokemon on my GameBoy while he was packing his things for his week in wherever the hell he was going to be with BBC.

"Okay, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did, dumby," I said, sitting up and facing him. "What is it?"

"Galaxy or zipper?" Dan held up two shirts for me to choose from.

"Galaxy or zipper what? Should you wear? I think that both look good on you. But you know, if it was my choice I'd say nothing." I winked and got up, abandoning Ash. I took a few steps toward his closet as he ran his hands through his hair, not caring for once.

"Which do you like better?" Dan asked as he came closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

"When I look in here, all I see is black. And you have one blue shirt and one multi-coloured shirt. Wait. I have this blue shirt! It's Drop Dead, isn't it? We should match." I flipped through some other shirts and stuff in his wardrobe.

"That's probably why people thought you were wearing my shirt."

I paused. "What?"

"Yeah, there was a picture of you next to a picture of me and we were both wearing the same shirt. It was a really good picture of you, yet I was all like "hey frienddzzzz watcha doin?"

I laughed at him. "Oh yeah, Dan, because you look terrible all the time."

"I do!" he chuckled. "Have you seen some of those tumblr pictures?!"

"Obviously not the ones that you're seeing." I untangled myself from his grasp and pecked him on the lips. Dan grabbed my arm before I could go back to his bed, pulling me in closer and swallowing me up in his embrace. "Yes?"

"Nothing, I just didn't want you to go."

"You aren't used to this?"

"Used to what?"

"Leaving." I leaned my head on his chest.

"Why would I be used to that?"

"You've been so busy lately."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's okay." I smiled. "I've got work to do anyways. I like this relationship."

"I don't. Nope. No like in this relationship. I hate you," Dan smiled and brushed his nose against mine. I giggled.

"I hate you more."

"I hate you the most!"

"I hate you to infinity!"

"No you don't! I hate you to google and farther."

"Well I hate you so much that it fucktuples every time that you breathe."

"Awww that was uncalled for," Dan said, bringing me closer by the extra inch or two.

"Says who?"

"Says me." He picked me up and set me down on his bed, gently kissing me. And I knew that I could never hate him.

* * *

Pasta was boiling on the stove top and Soup was prancing around my counter tops as I prepared dinner for Dan and myself. I pulled the beanie that Dan got me for Christmas farther down on my hair and opened the little window to see the slightly damp afternoon. Micah was gone, per the usual, and out with some friends for the night. She said something about her art friends having an old-fashioned sleep-over and she needed normal pajamas.

I haven't even talked to her in days. The conversation between us continues lacking and going opposite directions. Our schedulers haven't been intertwining like they used to and I don't know how to fix that besides change my sleeping patterns, but everyone knows that's not going to happen. It's 7 in the evening and I've only been awake for 3 hours. I miss my best friend. I miss Phil. I miss all of these people that I haven't had the chance to see. The only reason for that is my lack of motivation. My mind has been my house recently, leaving me to my own thoughts.

Dan knocked on my door and I ran to open it in my bare feet. I swung it open and jumped to hug him. "Someone's happy today," Dan said, lacking some step in his voice, but I ignored it.

"Yeah, I guess. I made you food. Unless you don't want any, that is."

"I'm always up for food. One time, I ate an entire pizza all by myself."

"Ooo, rebel."

"Yeah," he said, flipping his hair, "I do what I want. Hashtag thug life." I laughed at his pathetic duck face that he was making at me and tugged him further inside. The red bags under his eyes were much worse than I'm used to seeing. I let it go, knowing that he will tell me if he wants to and when he wants to.

"It smells damn fine up in here."

"Don't get used to it," I said, holding the kitchen door open for Dan. He stepped in after me, leaning against the counter as I continued to make the Alfredo sauce. "You like bacon, right?"

"No, Atari. I hate bacon."

"Okay, good, because it's with the noodles right now." I poked him and he smiled at me, but not large enough for me to see his dimples. "Everything alright?"

"Not really. But it'll pass."

"You look exhausted. Are you sure you want to stay? You can go get some rest if you need to. Or take a bubble bath or something."

"No, I don't think that will help. But thanks, love." Dan dropped his gaze down to where my hand was grabbing his.

"Do you want to tell me about it or should I shut up?" I asked.

"You don't mind if I talk about it?"

"Yes, of course I mind, because the world revolves around me and only I have problems, no Dan I did not just ask you a shit ton of questions that I don't care about." His face brightened a bit and a smirk came on his face. "Of course I don't mind. But hey, let's not be in the kitchen. Dinner's done. Want some?"

He nodded and I dished us angel-hair pasta with Alfredo sauce and bits of bacon with shredded mozzarella on top, served with not-very-fancy-cause-we-classy-ass-bitches-who-can 't-afford-good-red-wine red wine. We carried our dishes into the living room and sat down at the tall counter that we got a month or so ago. We were facing each other, the television behind us, turned off and the couch kitty-corner.

"You were saying?" I started, digging into my food, gracefully, of course. I have manners.

"There are so many stupid shit-heads on the internet, Atari. Did you know that?" He asked, dead serious.

"Yeah, I did."

"Can I tell you what happened?"

"Sure thing."

"Well, I was on my YouTube this morning, just checking up on my stuff, seeing the comments on my latest video, you know, the usual. When all of the comments started getting really hateful. I know, I know, don't give me that look. I don't care what other people think. Or at least, I shouldn't. But I kind of do." Dan fixed his hair a bit. "I don't want to offend anyone so when I see a bunch of people are getting into wars over new fans and old fans and tumblr and all of this total shit, I start to get worried. I just want to make people happy. That's one of the reasons that I'm making these videos, you know? I just want this to work out, bring a little bit of sunshine to everyone's day but it seems like no matter how hard I try, they all end up hating me. YouTube isn't the only thing I have going on in my life, and I'm sorry if I want to make something a bit comedic that deals with the more relaxed side of my life."

I nodded, letting him take a drink and eat a bit of his food. I'm sure that there were worry lines between my eyebrows, so I tried to smooth them down and become a neutral third-party in order to truly listen. I just wanted to be there for him, to listen to what he had to say and be his support for once.

"Anyways, I go onto my "Fictional Friends" video that I recently posted and all of the comments were about how I was changing, how I didn't post the same material anymore, how I am different, how they want the old me back, how I have started to become the spokesperson of tumblr, like there wasn't an ounce of the honest Dan any longer, just this other personality that wasn't living up to the public's standards or society's ideal normal vlogger. There were even a few people that said they only watched me because I was cute, not because the stuff that I posted was of a good quality and made them laugh. Is that the only reason that I have more subs than Phil? Because I cut my hair well or have brown eyes? I don't understand." He looked me dead in the eyes, "Atari, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not trying to be tumblr. I want to be relate-able like I used to be. A year ago, they had no problem with me addressing tumblr and fandoms, so why is it so strange now? I like sharing my personal stories and opinions on little things to be that internet figure that teens can go to in order to feel less strange. So why is this suddenly such a big deal?"

"They don't want to share you, Dan."

"But they don't need to. If they stay away from the blogs that post my stuff and the comment section of YouTube, then I can be theirs and they can pretend that they are the only ones that see me. Why can't we all just hold hands and be ironic together? Atari, I want to take down my Fictional Friends video."

"Because of the hate?"

"Because I don't want to be labeled that badly for saying something true about my life. My television has become my outside world friends. I don't see any of the kids I used to hang out with anymore. I wanted to tell the world that in a sarcastic, comedic way. And everyone is taking it way to seriously. I have BBC that I focus so much energy on, I travel, I have a family, I love hanging out with you, and I have the more primitive needs, like food, shelter, and clothing that I need to take care of before I can do anything else. I don't understand why the internet doesn't get that I am HUMAN. I'm human, Atari. And I need love, too." Dan began blinking rapidly, trying to keep the salt-water from spilling out of his eyes. I went to hug him and he held onto me tightly, not letting go. I let him dampen my shirt, knowing he would do the same for me. I hated to see him cry.

"You can do whatever you want to do, shitstorm or no. Because even if there were preteen girls banging at your door, I'd be here to offer an escape route. Do you think taking down Fictional Friends will be beneficial to the storm of shits?"

"Yeah," he chocked out, trying to keep his voice solid.

"You don't have to be so strong, you know. I can hold you up, too." I looked him into his eyes and he smiled at me with dried tears on the sides of his cheeks. I brushed them away as the new ones formed. "I'm going to grab some tissues, so I expect to see an almost empty plate when I get back. You need to eat. Want another glass of wine?"

"Yes, please, that would be wonderful." I kissed his cheek before fetching the desired materials.

And I hope that those people know they will be dealing with me. How in the world does anyone justify making a man who wouldn't hurt a fly, break down? Why do humans treat other humans like they are animals that won't get hurt through a screen? Dan is human, just like I thought the people on their keyboards were.


	8. Level 8

"Oh my fucking God you suck at wrapping presents, Atari. Give me that." Micah took the gift away from me and tore off the paper.

"It's not that I'm bad at it, it's that I don't find porpoise in wrapping them up. It causes unnecessary anxiety and suspense that I find unacceptable."

She smirked at me and wrapped the present for me so that it didn't look like a pile of garbage.

"You know, Dan was really good about making videos while you were gone."

"Don't mention it. I'm sure it's not my fault that he procrastinates. I just help, I think."

"And don't worry, the flat wasn't all that empty. I'm glad that you got Dan to put the video up."

"Yeah, I thought that it would be better for the internet and his hard work on it. He eventually gave in, knowing that he wanted his work up, even if his fans were going to be dicks about it."

"You know, I bet he would have gotten it up sooner if you were here, or, I don't know, took me with you."

"This doesn't have anything to do with the video. Are you really going to give me shit about going to gaming conferences without you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you went without me."

"Micah, you suck at gaming, no offense."

"And did you get me a t-shirt? No."

"Yes, I fucking did get you a t-shirt."

"Did you get me Animal Crossing?"

"Dude I got one Animal Crossing New Leaf and we share it bro. Calm yourself."

"But did you take me with you?"

"Micah this is stu-"

"Did you?!"

"No..."

"Exactly. And now I'm stuck here wrapping your presents."

"Uh, it's present. There's only one."

"Shut the fuck up, Atari. I'm done with your bullshit," she said smiling up at me. Her little hands tossed the pretty looking package into my lap. "I hate you."

"I love you too, bro."

* * *

"Oh my god! I haven't seen you in forever, beautiful. How are you?" I asked Bryony as she stepped into Dan's flat.

"Atari, you look so good. I've been petty alright, you know. Sorting out life and all of that stuff, and yourself?"

"Fantastic. Just got back from the E3 convention for Sony."

"Really?! How was it?"

"I loved it so much, but don't get me started on how much I am disliking the X-Box One. It's so stupid. I mean, it takes so much effort to share things. Why is life so hard?! I mean come on, I bet it's because I wasn't on the team for it. And Play Station 4 is going to be so amazing."

"We will have to play together sometime?"

"Yeah, we will. So I heard you were the mastermind behind the making of the cake?"

"I am! And I heard that you had the best present that anyone has ever given him?"

"This may be true. You will have to see," I smiled at her and she laughed lightly. We began talking clothes, me asking her about how she made her dress from a shabby thing she found at a thrift shop. She's inspiring and I'm glad that Dan has good taste in friends.

There were other people there, like PJ, Chris, Phil, Cornelia, and a few other people that I didn't know, from places he's been when I wasn't around. And that's cool with me. Because I had friends just like that. I've heard those cheesy quotes about how love doesn't last but friends and family do, where love does kind of matter, where love is everything, where love is nothing, where friendships come and go but eventually come back. What is love? Where is love? How can I find love? Those sort of things. But I've never heard something that matched the way that I feel about him.

I feel like a flood is meeting a wildfire, like a paradox is happening in my heart, like a bug is landing on a flower petal, like a kitten after it's just opened it's eyes. I feel like everything major and everything minor. And I find it beautiful, because I am dating my best friend.

And right now, that best friend is smiling loudly and laughing gently at a comment that one of his friends made, letting his eyes wander the crowd as I'm walking toward him. His brown eyes found mine and I love the way that they sparkled when they found me, though I've been here for the past few hours. He ushered me over to him and put his arm around me, introducing me to Zack and Carter. I smiled and shook their hands, telling them my name and getting the usual response.

The walked away, being summoned by another being across the living room area and Dan kissed my forehead. "I'm finally the same age as you. Isn't that exciting?!"

"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty-two," I winked. He swung his head back and laughed at me. I laughed with him, hugging him and laying my head on his chest.

"Do you know how many times that I've heard that today?"

"None. But I bet you've read it on the internet millions of times."

He agreed with me and we went to go talk to more people that I could actually tolerate. We were all nerdy here, finding enjoyment in a game controller or a DVD case or a computer screen. I was in my element and for once felt like I could communicate with other humans that I don't know. Wow. One up for Atari.

"Dan, I'm going to go catch up with Peej and Chris over there, okay?"

"Okay," he smiled at me and winked, squeezing my waist to his for a second before letting me go over to his friends and engage in a nice conversation about Comedy Week and it's disaster on YouTube.

I got complimented on my outfit, asked where things were, listened to people's back stories, found out how they knew Dan, was told that I was a great girl for him, was asked about online competition, and eventually sat on the couch playing X-Box with some guy that I didn't know, crushing him at Guitar Hero.

"Dude, your ass is getting kicked by a girl," PJ said from next to me, watching the scene unfold. I smirked and activated Star Power and just nailed it. "Dan! Come watch your girlfriend!"

Dan appeared on the couch next to me as I kept going. He laughed and started talking to PJ about who-knows-what until I was done and cake was announced.

I felt like a V.I.P. at a backstage party or something, getting in with the cool kids for the first time. Not even the cool kids, just the group of people that you've known existed just didn't know how to get in. It was the coolest, because they treated me like an equal, not just some lame girl from the other flat. And in a way, it felt like I was with long lost family, getting the insight as to what has been happening in the other relative's lives. I was included into something that I was interested in.

We went through a few bottles of wine between the 10 or 12 of us, an entire Game of Thrones birthday cake, and he unwrapped presents from all of us, leaving him with even more unnecessary nerd toys to wander in his flat.

* * *

"Dan, stop whining," I said in response to his sprawled form on the couch. Everyone had left and it was only 5 am, leaving Dan complaining about the mess in the flat and how he was full from so much cake.

I walked over to him, sitting on his chest and giggling. "I'm not whining, I'm happy. Lighten up," he said, poking my sides as he sat up, grabbing me close to him.

"I am 100% lightened." I kissed him and fell onto his chest. I wanted to feel like I was sobering up, but I wasn't sure. I could see clearly and such, but there's that little bubbly thing in my head like I'm floating but I'm not.

Dan's arms wrapped around me and gently pushed me off of him and I stood on my feet, tipping slightly as he got up and stood next to me. "Ready?"

"Ready for wh- AHH, Dan! Put me downnn!" He swung me over his shoulder, exposing my ass as I hit his back with my fists lightly, giggling despite my protests. I felt my back lightly hit the bed as Dan stood next to me, just looking at me.

"If I didn't already have you as my girlfriend, then you would have been what I wanted for my birthday."

"Shut up," I said, stretching my arms out on the bed.

"It's true, though." Dan lied down on the bed next to me, looking up at the ceiling, the room illuminated by the hall light because he forgot to turn on the room light. "I'm so happy that you're here. You're in my bed, Atari."

"Huh, so that's what this is. A bed. Interesting."

"God, you are such a smartass," Dan said, kissing my neck. "I honestly wouldn't have you any other way."

And I met his lips, tiny sparks flying as we kissed. I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

_**Guis please don't hate me. I just got done with school, my dad's being a dick, and some other personal things are getting shitty so thanks for not giving me shit about it. It always helps to know that you guys want me to continue. I respond to every review, so if you want to talk to me about the story or any ideas that you have (or demands for that matter) I'll be happy to make them happen. The next chapter will be a long one so be prepared. **_


	9. Level 9

~One Month Ago~

The album that Dan brought home from Fuse was playing, Anamanaguchi blasting through my speakers. I was dancing around the flat in a tank top and shorts, deciding what I was going to do. And then I heard footsteps running toward something. So I assumed that it was going up the stairs to another flat or something. But then my door burst open and Dan came panting inside.

"Anything I can do to help you?" I asked.

"SHE'S IN LABOR."

"What?"

"ATARI THIS IS SO GOOD SHE'S IN LABOR OH FINALLY THANK GOD."

"Dan, what are you talking about?" Did he get some girl knocked up or...

"Okay, so the girl that tells us where to go got pregnant nine months ago, I know, don't look at me like that, but yeah, she's in labor. Her job was to operate a little computer and tell us where to go and how to get there at what time. She helped us around the building," Dan panted, looking at me as if I was supposed to know what the fuck he just said.

"And?"

"And you're good with technology."

"Dan, stop being stupid, I don't get it."

"Do you want to be paid to go around the Big Weekend thing for BBC with Phil and I?"

"Yes."

"Okay then you need to pack a weeks worth of clothes tonight because we leave tomorrow on the train. Okay? Good." He scooped me up and twirled me around in a circle. "You get to go with us! And meet cool people! And Micah can come with because I convinced the Radio 1 guys. Remember that one sound booth guy, Nick? Well I told him about you and he said that we could work something out and that it would be okay if Micah could come, but you'd both be splitting the pay and it's really not that much but it's totally worth it because you get passes and I know that there's a food card, but we can alw-"

"Yes, I will go. I'd love to." I smiled at him, exposing my teeth.

"Really?" His brown eyes widened and he grinned at me. "Thank God. I want a little bit of home to take with me. I want you."

I blushed at his comment. "Well, then I better start packing."

"Yeah you should! Hey, is this the CD that I gave you?"

"Anamanaguchi? Yeah. I like it a lot."

"I thought of you when I heard it, you know."

"I wonder why, I mean, I definitely never play video games." He laughed at me and I ruffled his hair.

* * *

~Present Day~

The sun streamed in through Dan's open window, shedding light on his bed spread and the dust mites in the air. My eyelids fluttered before opening entirely, letting in the beautiful light. I looked around Dan's room, taking in the small desk next to the bed, the pillow that masks the pile of socks that he has, his wardrobe with his stupid posters that I want him to change, the piano with his shrine of Guild Wars 2, the butt chair, the warrow art.

Oh fuck. Goddamn. All the shit flooded to my head, a spinning sensation and a bit of baby vomit all at once. I rolled over, pulling the covers over my head.

These are not my covers. This is not my bed. And I cannot find my clothes. Fuck.

"Hey, I see you're awake." I sprung up from my position, sitting up in the bed, my hand over my heart. Oh shit. I grabbed the sheet and pulled it up over my chest. "You okay?" Dan asked, walking in, glancing at me with a quizzical look on his forehead. God I love the way that he's walking, like he was a bit sore, but still had that jaunt about the steps he took. I smiled at him, recalling the events of last night.

"God I have a head ache, but besides that I'm perfectly okay. Ugh I'm so fucking hungry." I patted the bed next to me so he would come sit down.

"I don't think I've seen you like this. I kind of like it," Dan said, lifting up the covers and coming in. I laid my hand on the side of his neck, feeling the bone of his jaw with my thumbprint, remembering how I went to sleep next to a man with eyes like a winter forest and arms like strong oaks that kept me safe and sound, with sounds like birds and the crunching of leaves, with the ability to make me fall in love and be satisfied like wild berries. This man was so beautiful. So I kissed the lips that made me impervious to the chill.

His hand made his way to my waist, gently showing me to the mattress yet again. I was way too sore for round two, so we just laid there, showing love from an entanglement of limbs and lips, his tongue gliding with mine. "God I love you," I whispered to him, my lips ghosting against his. Oh shit.

I pulled away, sitting back up, setting my head in my hand. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing, nothing." A blush spread on my cheeks. Dan's hand crept up my bare back.

"I think that I heard you say something," a stupid dimple-filled smirk was heard in his speech, and I knew it was evident on his face. His hand started rubbing my back, leaving circles of warmth and butterflies in my skin.

"Nothing, Dan." There was a bit of accidental bite in my words, making him take his hand off my back.

"Okay. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I'm sure you said that to the lord above." Dan tried to break the ice, cheer me up. I didn't really get cheered up, but I smiled a bit.

"Promise you won't laugh or leave or lie or-"

"Something else that starts with an "l"?" Dan asked, smiling. I giggled and looked at his pretty face.

"I said that I love you and I don't know if you love me back and you don't have to because I can handle it but don't tell me that you do if you don't you know? I mean we can still date and do stuff and be super duper fucking close if you don't love me and it's not because I slept with you but it's because I just love you but you don't have to love me, just hug me or someth-"

"I do love you now shut up," Dan said, smiling one giant-ass smile. His hand was on my waist again, leading me back to his lips. He pecked me and pulled away, letting me sit in his lap, the sheets still around my bare body.

"Make me," I said, kissing him once again.

The tips of his fingers poked at my sides ticking me, making me squeal out in high pitched laughter. "Stop it!" I said, squirming in his lap and lightly hitting his shoulders. He wrapped his perfect arms around me, pulling myself to him. My lip was between my teeth with his eyes not 10 centimeters from mine and me dangerously close to every inch of his skin. It was like some sort of natural high that I didn't want to come down from.

But hell, what's a girl to do?

I gave him one last kiss before patting his lap and getting up, sliding his howl tank top on and going out, heading for the kitchen.

"I hate you, Atari Emerson," Dan called out.

"Did you make food?"

"Yes, bitch, I made food. Did you really think I was going to starve the girl that just got me laid for the first time in years? Not today."

I turned around to face him, kissing him.

"I love when you wear my clothes. Have I told you that? I think it's sexy." His hands sat on my hips, under the shirt. I bit my lip. "Ugh stop that."

"Stop what?" I looked up at him with innocent eyes.

"Stop being so damn attractive for one second."

"Does it bother you?"

"Parts of me, yes."

I blushed, pecking him again. "Now where's the food? I could eat."

* * *

"Want to go to France?" Dan asked, coming into my flat a week and a half later. God I could definitely get used to just letting him wander around in here. It felt home-y in the best possible way. Like there was someone to come back from work to, other than a selfish cat.

"Sure? Why?"

"Because I need a break and there's a festival of sorts over there. Figured you could get away, you know, beachy things, go to a festival of sorts, fun things."

"If you're going to make some sort of pale joke-"

Dan chuckled. "No, I just thought that it would be fun for Miss Grumpy Puss to get out of her room once in a while and spend some quality time attempting to communicate with French people. Because I know there is nothing that you like more than stuck-up foreign people." He made me laugh, setting down the pair of pants that I was folding.

"Hey, Micah?" I called out to her in her room. "Dan wants me to go to France. Should I?"

"Yeah I know he does. Phil talked to me about it," Micah said, stepping out of her room.

"God why does no one inform me of these things?" I asked, twirling around to see Dan eyeing my lingerie. I whacked his arm, sending his eyes to my body and then up to my eyes, winking. I rolled mine at him and went back to the topic at hand. "So should I? I have work and some stuff I still have to do and I really want a promotion so I'm not stuck living like an old man that can't get laid." Soup purred and jumped up onto the table, laying down on my favourite shirt. She always did like that soft Spidey one. She gracefully slid her body under my hand, looking up at me as happily as a Persian cat can. Of course she wants me to be an old man that can't get laid. It would mean more petting. I hate her, I though as I stroked her soft fur between my fingers.

"You need to take a break. Dan, sometimes you're crap at this. She's been cooped up in her bedroom for the past day just filling out those stupid papers about the games. God she's been falling asleep on the keyboard for the past three days."

"Ugh, shut up, I have not."

"Okay then a couple centimeters away from it then. You need a break and I say you come with us."

"You're going?"

"Yes. I was going to talk to you about it but then you were stubborn so now I'm going to make you go."

"Fine. I'll think about it. When are we leaving? I need to make sure I don't have meetings or anything."

"Uh like two days. So pack up, we leave the nineteenth, okay?" He was grinning like a little kid. "We're going camping and to the beach so prepare yourself." His stupid eye winked at me and I whacked him once again.

"On a beach? Wow, Atari, looks like you have to see the sun with more body parts than just your face and hands," Micah said, taking a seat on the window ledge. I showed her my tongue and went back to folding.

"This sounds way too good to be true, dude."

"Come on, let's go to the beach-each, let's go get away," Dan said. I gave him a glare worthy of a slap with a hidden smile. "Come on, you know you love me."

"Oh, shut up."

"Well, if you two are done with your little love fest, it looks like Atari and I have to go find something to wear to the beach," Micah said, hopping down from her little ledge of pillows and quiet.

"I could always help, you know," Dan said, winking, pulling me close. I giggled, looking into his tree bark eyes filled with love and lust like initials carved into the tree inside a heart.


	10. Apology and Explaination

Oh shit fuck fuckity fuckity fuck poop shit. I am so fucking sorry. Shit. Oh god you guys are so worried about me.

First things first:

I AM OKAY. I'm not contemplating suicide. I haven't been cutting recently. My eating disorder is under some control. Gosh you guys are so great. I've never had anyone worry about me when I stop a fiction and this totally means a lot to me.

Second things... well... second:

I am very sorry that I haven't updated or even checked my messages or reviews in a while. That leads me to thing three.

Three:

My anxiety has been getting very bad. That is no excuse, it is an explanation. It is why I feel so shitty about getting on this website. The guilt really got to me because after two weeks of not going on due to business and procrastination. It got to a point where I was getting minor panic attacks every time I though of something to write. I had little ideas for what I was going to write, but nothing that could be made into a chapter. I just couldn't take it and I thought you guys weren't going to be too affected or anything. But you were, and now I still feel pretty guilty.

And last but not least, continuing on:

I'm going to reread all of the stuff that I've wrote for this to try to fix my mess and write the next chapter.

Now, it'll be a couple weeks until the next one because it took a ton of anxiety managing to get on this site.

But I'll be here soon. And this will be deleted one day before I update. So please please check and make sure that this is the update and not the chapter.

I really appreciate you all to death.

_**PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS AND SHIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. WHAT DO YOU WANT BECAUSE I WILL MOST LIKELY PUT IT IN.**_


	11. Level 10

Dan's smile honestly kills me every time. I could stare at his smile all day long because it makes me smile. I want to press pause on the world for just a little in order for me to stand in awe at how perfect and stunning he truly is. Because until you have seen every shade of that grin, you have not known Dan Howell.

I've been there at six a.m. when he couldn't sleep but he still smiled, still kept that grin because I made a stupid immature joke that I knew he would love. Even with eyes that had seen better sleep, his cheeks and lips still held that strength and joy that I had come to know.

I've been there at six p.m. when he finally woke up, beaming next to you as he stretched his arms and let out a little yawn. All of those pearly whites all in perfect rows, dimples in his cheeks, the smile touching his eyes, radiating this childish elation.

I've been there at ten at night when Dan takes his lower lip between his teeth and turns it into a symphony of sexy right in front of your very eyes, modesty and lust in his eyes that have been caressed by his smile. He doesn't even know that he's turning my insides into mush by just looking at me, just showing me his teeth.

I've been there at three in the morning when the thunder is louder than anything else, blocking out every thought and sending me into a panic attack and he's there, smiling at me with an open set of lips, reassuring me that it's going to be okay. He's there to be my umbrella when I'm soaked to the core.

I've been there at midnight when he hadn't had the chance to make himself dinner, starving for the joy of those on the other side of the screen. His stressed smile is my least favorite, but it's a part of him that I can't lose. I love all of his personality. I'll be there with grilled cheese and soup when he has gone seven hours without eating anything, just to see him crack a smirk in my direction.

I've been there at eight p.m. to sit down and have a cup of tea across from him. I've been the one on the other side of the tender up-rise of the corners of his mouth, the compassion in his eyes, even though I was only ranting about something unimportant. He's leaned his cheekbone on his folded hands, staring at me like I was something special, something to cherish. I've felt loved, being looked at like that. Words cannot describe the passion that is caused from a simple look. That's why I love him; one look and I'm overcome with felicity, wonder, contentment. He is the favorite part of a novel, he is the money that you found when you're just walking on the street, he is the sun after a flood. He's Dan Howell. And I love him.

* * *

"Could you lift up your arms a bit?" Amelia asked me. I lifted up my arms a bit. "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it."

I laughed lightly. "Dude I just lifted up my arms." I looked down to see her fiddling with a piece of the costume, her eyebrows squished together and her tongue stuck out of her lips.

"I know but oh fuck shit. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. What happened?"

"Oh, I just sewed a part that I didn't mean to. It's nothing big." She cut off the string end and stood back, her head tilting to the left.

"Do I look bad?"

"Sh shhh shhhhhhhh. Let me look at my masterpiece." She grinned and starred at my body, making me stand there uncomfortably until she inevitably looked up to my eyes. "God we have to do something about your hair, though." I looked at her oddly.

"Are you going to tell me how it looks? Do I look good?"

She smiled again. "You look great. I promise. But we do have to do something about your hair."

My hands went to my hair defensively. "There's nothing wrong with my hair."

"NO. That's not what I meant. I mean that we have to change it for the character. But not too much." She looked around the room we were using in my flat. "Where did I put my reference sheet?"

"Over by the desk," I said, nodding to the wooden piece of furniture with a ton of pieces of paper on it.

"You can put your hands down, by the way."

I nodded and moved my arms around. "This is really comfortable for a costume. I can move. I could kill someone in this."

She smiled and held the piece of paper up in comparison to me standing there. A frown made it's way to her mouth. "Okay, since you're playing the part you have to look the part, right? Well right now you look like... well... like a five year old girl in a suit of armor. I need you to look bad ass. Like uh.. Chloe Moretz in Kick Ass when she's Hit Girl."

I grinned and adjusted my posture to look like a confident motherfucker with strong shoulders cocked back and a wide stance, tilting my head up.

"Better. Much better. There we go." Amelia smiled widely. I beamed back.

"So do I get any props or just the costume?" I asked, moving around in the tiny skirt. "Jesus it's like I'm not even wearing anything down there."

"Well we can always make it a bit longer. But it might be more uncomfortable that way."

"No this is fine."

"But in answer to your question, yes, you get a prop." Amelia said as she turned and rummaged through some of the bins she brought. She turned around to face me, kneeling down and presenting a large fancy sword. I took it in my hands and moved it around.

"That is so fucking cool."

* * *

_So this is sort of an ease back in thing. I'm posting this, which isn't much, but don't worry, there will be more. I'll post another chapter pretty soon._

_But before I do, I need to say a few things:_

_1- Thank you. Those reviews are amazing. I totally thought you guys would hate me_

_2- On that note, please sign in so that I can RESPOND. Guys, I like to talk to you by replying to the reviews. _

_3- I totally dropped a few bombs and I'm sorry about that. I am truly sorry about that. I thought you guys knew that I was dealing with that stuff and I'm sorry that I dropped those. I'm not using them as excuses, just explanations._

_4- I'm going to keep that update here so people understand why I'm so late. _

_5- I'm in a play right now as well as really into this girl. So those are pretty big events in my life and my interfere with some of my writing. But it's okay. I'll still write._

_6- I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT IDEAS YOU HAVE. I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. _

_So that's it for now, and thank you for the reviewers. Your feedback means so much._

_And that leads me to... PRESS THAT SEXY BUTTON DOWN THERE YO. _

_Let's start review questions again: What is your favorite video game? Why?_


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